I just had an email that got me to thinking. My aunt was just commenting on the letter I wrote for my dad's christmas cards. She said I sounded just like my mom. Sometimes I really like hearing that and then other times I don't. But I wonder why I find myself trying to be like my mom. I love her and miss her dearly, but she wasn't perfect. There were plenty of things I didn't like about her. I feel like I'm trying to immortalize her or something by being like her. I know part of me will always be like her and do things because that's the way she did them. But why can't I let go of more of her? Maybe I will in time. Like I've never made an issue about being together on Thanksgiving. It was always, if it happens cool, if not oh well. No matter what though I have to make rolls. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without my mom's rolls. But for Christmas I'm totally anal (giggity, lol) about everything being as close to the way it used to be as possible.
How do I stop trying to replace my mom and figure out who I am???
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Just me and my thoughts!
1 comment:
I wouldn't worry too much, lovey. I try to make things like they were too. The past is just comfortable, you don't have to think or worry about change, just keep going the way we do. It makes us happy. Too bad the world has to make us change sometimes :) You are like you, which is a mix of you and your mom and your dad and Vanessa and all your friends. That's how we get to be who we are. You are just seeing your mom right now more than normal because Christmas is about family. Love you!
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