my evening started out good. had a drink in front of me, my playlist.com playing and wow up an running. then the 1 non upbeat song on my playlist came on...auld lang syne. the version from the sex and the city movie.
then i put it on repeat.
it made me picture a life with him. why do i do this. it's like i'm a silly little girl. i feel like i'll never grow up. i can see our lives like a freaking hallmark commercial. i know that's not real life but for some reason that's still what i picture. why is that. do i do it so nothing will ever measure up and then i'll be single forever thus self full-filling my prophecy that nobody will ever love me. it's confusing.
i see a beautiful evening wedding. it's outdoors and under a big tent and there are lots of candles. my dress surprises me.
i'm all sappy and weepy. then the wedding thoughts make me think about my mom and how she won't be there for my wedding. sadness
but there is still a smile on my face right now. even with the few tears. i think i want to walk down the aisle to this song someday. i don't know that it's a "wedding" song but i don't really care. it makes me feel good.
::the grammar and punctuation was deliberate. somehow, it seemed appropriate::
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1 comment:
I love you.
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