That was my Bible verse of the day on Saturday I think and it really spoke to me. This is something I struggle with daily...well, probably hourly. Part of me wants to go out and have naughty fun that I know I shouldn't have and I have a hard time ignoring that. I believe that this is the first step for me right now. I need to get a handle on living a righteous life for the Lord. Until I can do that, I can't fully appreciate all he has in store for me.
He showed me this yet again recently. I had met a guy and we fooled around a little and then I he stopped answering my texts. Today some crazy girl was texting me from his number (which I had deleted by then) and it was very reminiscent of all the Kevin/Samantha drama. I'm 28 years old for goodness sake, almost 29!! I don't need to be acting like I'm 19. I have learned in therapy that there is a part of me that CRAVES drama, but I'm trying to find good outlets for that. I know that God has a plan for me and I believe that plan includes a husband and children, but it's hard to remember that. It helps that Mom Vanessa reminds me of it, but I am not a patient person. To quote Veruca "I WANT IT NOW!" So one of my daily prayers is to have faith in the Lord and that he will provide for me when the time is right. And it's not right now. I don't know what'd I'd do with a husband and babies! Though I'm jealous of all my friends that are getting married and reproducing.
I started reading Multiple Blessings written by Jon & Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate plus 8 fame. (LOVE THAT SHOW!!!) It's a real testament of faith. At the beginning of each chapter there is a Bible verse, usually about remaining faithful in Him and it's really good for me to be reading. Technically it's one of my Christmas presents, but shhh!!
My Thanksgiving was GREAT!! The 3 of us (me, Dad, brother) went to Ingeborg's (Mom's best friend) to be part of an 18 person meal. It was so much fun!! I sat at a great table and she put me far away from my Dad so he wouldn't make comments about how much I ate. That was super nice! I might get to babysit Ingeborg's grandkids sometime which is exciting!! There are 2 of the smartest and most imaginative kids I have ever met. It would be a privledge to hang out with them! Lots of laughs were had!
That day my Dad also gave me some cash and told me to do my own Christmas shopping this year. I just had to buy something for my brother, NOT buy something for him, and give him the receipts and any change. I laughed at him cause really...did he think I wouldn't spend it all? 2 days later I had! LOL I went to Target on Friday with Shelley and then came home and spent the rest on Amazon.com. I have about $20 left to buy my brother a pepper mill. Seriously, that's what he said he wanted and for some reason he thought I'd enjoy look for it! Um...not so much! LOL
Other highlights...Shelley and I went to my Dad's Saturday and I started my Christmas baking and she enjoyed the internet and just kept me company. It was lots of fun! I'm about 1/3 done with my baking but quite happy with my progress. I have to go over tomorrow night to clean up the rest of my mess because Dad will be home Wednesday morning.
Who wants Christmas cookies!?! That's all I'm really giving out as gifts because I'm poor! Of course I don't expect any either.
14 days of school left until Winter Break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something to think about...
3 comments:
you should check out "Stop wondering if you'll ever meet him." by Ryan Browning Cassaday and Jessica Cassaday. That's the book I got this weekend and while I am just a few chapter's into it really seems to be helping me. It goes over a lot on how to "stop hanging out and hooking up".
Also that's great about the cooking, I have to get on my cooking here soon too.
i need to come over so we can have a movie night or something. i miss you!
i'll be in town dec. 19-28, yay!
My Laura,
Can't tell you how happy I am that you're trying really hard to let God lead in your life! I don't think or pretend that it would be easy to wait - but as one of my refridgerator magnets says..."in between the wanting and the thing, life lies waiting". I really like that - it reminds me to live every day to the fullest and leave the rest of the stuff up to God (who, by the way already has the mister picked out - but there are mosst likely more things for you to do and learn before He leads you to him)!
I love you and am honored to be your "mom".
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