a dream

So early this morning (around 5:30am) I woke up from a VERY strange dream. I had to tell somebody so I texted Shelley, knowing she wouldn't mind the early morning text. Here's exactly what I sent her (it was like 8 texts long!):

I'm sorry if this wakes you up but I had to tell somebody. I just had a really weird dream where my mom was alive again. Apparently 3 months after she died she came back to life. And she was fine and doctors couldn't explain it. And for the first year or so it was like walking on egg shells cause I felt like she would die again suddenly. But by then I wasn't so afraid and more just grateful for the time with her. And I was away at college and had been for like 3 months and finally remembered to check my mail (and it was like 3am or something) and I had dozens of letters and packages from her. I was trying to organize it all and I was crying and told my RA about the whole thing and it just felt so real. Then I woke and h ad to think if she was really dead or not. So now I don't want to go back to sleep for fear of forgetting it all. The feeling of her being alive was so real and actually kind of comforting, like she's out there watching over me.

I told you it was long! LOL It kind of felt like I'd had the dream before. At least the part about her coming back to life after being dead for 3 months. And nobody seemed to question how that happened even though she was CREMATED!! It was very weird, like if you asked that question the bubble would burst and she'd be dead again. I wonder what it means. I'm glad I texted Shelley because after I went back to sleep I had another odd dream about being in college and making out with some guy who I later found out was engaged, but he was leaving her for me. And I'd just met the guy and his parents were pissed at me. All that made it hard to remember the good mom dream. And the warm, fuzzy feeling I got from it was long gone. But I have the memory of it, which is nice.

I miss my mom!!!