I did the unthinkable....

I bought a DRESS!! LOL I KNOW, I can't believe it either! But I wanted to wear one to Jen's wedding next month. I actually bought the 2nd one I tried on so it wasn't as torturous as I had expected. Now I just need shoes and a shawl or sweater or something. Here it is:



Of course, it doesn't look like that on me, but it is cute! :)

I'm not happy with myself today...

Why am I so freaking lazy? I can't even get up today, Easter of all days, and go to church! I'd write more, but I'm not sure what else to say except I disgust myself right now. :(

Spring Break and 1st dates!

Spring Break is going well. I'm sad it's almost over! I haven't been nearly as productive as I had wanted to be, but really...did anybody think I would be? LOL I've done a little cleaning and there's still time to do more but we'll see.

I had lunch with mama Vanessa yesterday which was great. I love spending time with her! In some ways it makes me miss my Mom more, but mostly makes me miss her less. I couldn't ask for a better 2nd mother! :)

Tonight I'm going to hang out with Ian and Steve from work, that should be fun!

I've slept in a couple days which as been SOOOOOOOO nice! Today I woke up for good around 12:30 but didn't get out of bed for another hour. And here it is almost 3:30 and I'm still in my pajamas. Jealous?

So last night I had a first date with a guy named Mike. He's really nice and funny and best of all...he plays WARCRAFT!! Yeah, I'm a nerd, but that's ok. :) We went to the Olive Garden and then we played warcraft together for a bit when we both got home. He lives in Seattle and does computer stuff for a living. Really nice guy! I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. We're going out this weekend too.

Okay, I think it might be time for me to shower. lol

Spring Break!!

OMG!!! I need this week off in the worst way! The kids are crazy and I just need time away from them. And it's sooooo nice to sleep in! My hope/goal is to not be too lazy all week and to actually get stuff done, mainly some SERIOUS Spring cleaning. My place is yucky. I typed out a list yesterday of everything I wanted to get done in each room. I know myself and so I'll be happy if I get 3 rooms done. Surprisingling I actually did a little today. I didn't get out of bed until 2pm when Kate called to invite me to Denny's and when I got home about 45 min ago I showered, shaved my legs, put on capris, potted some plants on my balcony, washed some dishes, AND took out the garbage. Not bad for a Sunday! The big thing that has to get done is un-caulking and re-caulking my tub cause it's a little moldy in one spot. EWWW!!! That actually takes some planning and work. I'm thinking Thursday for the cleaning and then Friday for the caulking (so it can be super dry) and then Saturday I can shower again. Maybe start Wednesday though. We'll see.

In other news...well, there isn't any really. I got a letter from my high school last week. I guess they're putting together a huge directory of all the classes up to 2006. I called so they'd have my info correct and then they wanted to sell me the book...$80 I think. I laughed at the guy. LOL Then he offered me something for only $40 and I laughed again. I told him I can get ahold of just about anybody via Facebook. At least all the people I want to talk to.

So that's all I guess I have to say right now. Oh yeah, one more thing. I'm going on a train trip to Portland with Darlene next month. Just overnight but I'm super excited!!

Peace out homies!!

crabby and anti-social

So I've been crabby lately and more anti-social than usual. I'm not sure why, but I have 2 theories. 1. The time of year. Today is my Mom's birthday, in about a month is when she died, and about a month after that is Mother's Day. So yeah, sucky time of year!
2. I'm trying to get myself off my anti-depressants (slowly of course) and went down to 5mg a couple weeks ago. This week I went back up to 10. We'll see if that makes a difference.

I guess it could also be a combination of the two. I just don't want to do anything that requires me to go out, besides work really. I'm perfectly content to stay home and play warcraft. Granted, I know that won't really help me with finding somebody which is what I was whining about last blog.

I'm supposed to go to a bridal shower today and even though I love Jen, Vanessa, and many of the people that will be there, I really don't want to make the effort to shower and drive and be cheerful. I need to call my therapist I think!

Jealousy/Anger

I am so freaking jealous of everybody who is married, having kids, or even seriously dating somebody. I am so tired at being alone!! I like being a couple. I'm a couple kind of girl. Yes, I like my alone time, but I love being with somebody. Talking, laughing, just hanging out, sharing about my day, etc. I try not to think about it, but it really consumes me and my thoughts. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to get married, have babies, and be a stay at home mom if possible. Not that I don't love my job, because I do (for the most part). But marriage has always been the goal for me and as I'm nearing 30! I just feel like it's just hanging over my head like a dark cloud. I feel like I'm NEVER going to meet somebody worth being with forever. Yeah, yeah, God has a plan...WHATEVER!!! I'm not down with that right now. I don't even want to hear it so save it! I just want to meet somebody and I'm so afraid I won't and I'll be living in this stupid condo ALONE FOREVER!!!

I think I'm a pretty good catch...smart, witty, funny, not all together unattractive, a decent cook, kind, caring, etc but I can't find a decent guy anywhere. At least not one I want to marry and have children with.

BEING SINGLE SUCKS BIG FAT MONKEY NUTS!!!!!!!!

annoying!

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